Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead.

This is the first time I have managed to paint my nails in two months, and it was a crap job but such is Murphy's Law that when your nails are drying a baby is bound to start crying.

The pink is 'I Theodora You' with 'Lights of Emerald City' over the top.

It bubbled really quickly but I didn't use top coat so that could be why. Ahh the monstrosity that my nails have become is shameful.

Nelly switches it on when she sees the camera. She is definitely my child even if she doesn't look so much like me as she does George Costanza. 

My hair is finally long enough to wear in a bun again. Life is good.

Except for when you are in Chemist Warehouse with a baby in one arm and a jumbo box of nappies in the other which is digging into your fat hips and causing pain and that's when you start to notice people are staring at you.

You start to think that perhaps there is vomit sliding down your back, or their has been a poo explosion and everyone can smell it but you. You really have no idea why people are looking at you.

Then you get back to the car and discover that your bun has unraveled itself and there is a sock dangling from your head. 

I mean, it could have been worse but if you don't know the ol' sock bun trick you may be slightly confused. 

I took this bun photo the day of my first Mothers Group and as I had been told horrific tales of Mothers Groups where all the mums are incredibly glamorous and put together, wearing their Sunday Finest and toting around Louis Vuitton nappy bags I thought that I would at least go to some effort, brush my teeth and all that. 

Nope. I was over dressed. There is a first for everything, I know.

I feel like I may have been slightly judged because of this and I felt like saying "My house is a mess!!! I usually only wear pajamas and have matted hair!". The girls all seemed really nice but as I don't have a car of my own I have to walk 6km to get there and it's a bit hard. 

I have friends with babies though who I catch up with all the time, so would it be terrible if I didn't go back?

Went to a lovely wedding on Saturday and ate some great food.

Had the ol' "Expecting baby number two already?!!!" thrown at me. 

That was awkward. Had to admit I am just fat.

 Definitely awkward. 

Didn't stop me eating dessert though. 

This is the Jayson Brunsdon dress that I wore, however I chucked on a better bra and a purple necklace but the necklace didn't last long - hard to feed with a baby trying to grab your necklace and strangle you.

When I bought this dress my breasts were full of milky goodness however both times I have worn it they have been drained which leads to it gaping and a safety pin is needed. 

Hopefully it will be too big for me all over soon enough. 

In more exciting news, my rings fit again. Hurrah!!!! 

Well, two out of three fit. Close enough.

Nelly is looking smashing here for Orthodox Easter. 

She won the egg smashing competition, but I think she cheated to be honest with you as that is usually my title to take out. 

Nelly is in a Target ensemble which I wish came in my size.

I've finally bought more bow headbands for her so we can mix life up a little. 

However, they are huge. Novelty huge.

See.

I've been asked to do a post on breastfeeding so just to warn you that that is what my next post will be about, if you have no interest or if this grosses you out just ignore Mondays post!

Lace & First Gear

I love this dress so much. It is awesome, just awesome I tell you!!


It's the one my mum got me from French Pony. I don't know the brand and I am too comfortable to get up and find out. Sorry about that. 


It was too big around the waist but I've packed on a bit of extra cushioning and low and behold it fits me.
Not that I am justifying my weight gain as a positive since I now fit this dress better... or am I?!

It’s the perfect work winter dress, short sleeves since I swelter under down lights all day, and thicker fabric than your standard dress.


Plus, it's damn cute. 

I am wearing these Windsor Smith $50 bad boys to death and they still look good! 


Patent makes everything look better. Just make sure you are wearing undies, ha. 

This is China Glaze – Jitterbug but I feel like it is failing me and not wearing very well.

I want to have robot fingers for more than 3 days okay. Is that too much to ask for? Is it?!

The palm of my hand looks so soft and fleshy.

Speaking of soft and fleshy, how disgusting is that story of the naked guy eating the other naked guys face off in America?! Gah.

I drove my Mother in Laws car to work on Thursday and I drove half the way in first gear.

It's an automatic car, but with steptronic. I couldn’t work out why the revs were so high when I was driving and then I realized I didn’t have it in Drive, but in First. Derrrr.

My bad. 

Don’t you think it is weird that this car has broken English?! 

Damn you Steptronic. Apparently our car has it, but I don't even know how to enable it. 

Kitty and I schlepped around Myer and David Jones for about 4 hours on Friday night, stripping down the lingerie racks for bargains. I got 10 pairs of Elle McPherson & other similar designers undies for $85. Yes please.

We look like mushrooms. 

We were also given these La Mer samples to try, and also the oil absorbing lotion, but could not find it when I took this photo.

I'm not in the market to change my skin care, but am still interested to know more about the healing properties that La Mer apparently have.. Have you used it? How did you justify the crazy price?

It's been fresh to death lately so I whipped out this hoodie which I bought whilst in line to the boat to go and see the Statue of Liberty in NYC.

It was so freezing that despite all of the layers I had on, I was still shivering and we ended up leaving and not taking the boat trip in the end.

This tacky tourist hoodie comes in handy on a cold night though!

I've had a bazillion "Great blog. Check out my (insert florist, clothes, toothpaste, dog food etc) company" comments lately and I am sick of the spam grr.

Blueberries

I’m guilty of repeating outfits. Today is one of those days.

I wore this dress, and necklace (don’t worry I changed the shoes & underwear) to Jo & Trevs wedding also. I’m surprised by how many compliments I have had on it today! The brightness must cheer people up with this pathetic weather.

I need to shop vintage more often. Would love to hear of some shops in Melbourne that you suggest.

Why does fresh produce cost so much from the supermarket? Why do I even buy it from the supermarket?

This reminds me, I was in the Safeway in Ivanhoe last night and in every single punnet of strawberries, there were at least 2 mouldy ones. No wonder nobody was buying them.

Frocktober has commenced..

Frocktober has commenced people. I hope that you are all wearing frocks today.

I didn't leave the house on Saturday, but I wore my nightie all day long. I did you a favour and didn't take a photo - I would hate to assault your eyes like that. This is what I wore on Thursday though..

 Target dress, with a white ribbon wrapped around the waist.

I have a box full of beautiful ribbons from our wedding presents, so I might as well get some use out of them.

Hey. 

2011 Brownlow Average Dressed

Ahh. The time has come again, to rip through each of these poor unsuspecting ladies.

I decided to title the list ‘average dressed’ this year. I’d hate to be put on a worst dressed list, but could handle average. Imagine if I went to the brownlow, I would probably be dressed by Big W.

This is just a bit of fun, we all know that some of these ladies only get told they are invited 2 weeks before hand.

I don’t know many names of the girls this year, sorry. Probably a good thing so that when they google their names today they don't see this....

 What is going on here. The lace looks like it was sewn on in the Camry on the way there. Not flattering at all. Not sure about the cuff either. Less is more. Also, is there such a thing as black being too black??

 I wish there were more photos of this lass. The back of this dress looks quite interesting. It's like a snake got dipped in OPI Shatter, and then started to shed it's scales.

Also, her hair would have looked better up, in a nice bun.

Rebecca Twigley rang from 2004, she wants her dress back.

If something has already been done and done well, leave it alone sister.

I want to know who designed this frock. Then I want to make sure I never enter that shop incase I get brainwashed and leave the house looking like this.

I just don’t get it.

It looks like a formal dress circa 1992, crossed with a mermaid who is tangled in seaweed.

The one sleeve thing is creeping me out too. There is way too much going on with this.

When I first saw Lauren Phillips, I thought she had on a jump suit. I still don’t know if it was a dress or not.

I actually like the top part but the bottom part is not doing it for me. Her hair is looking shocking also.

Come on Loz, you can do better. We know that you are a big wig on the blue carpet and have designers throwing couture gowns at you, and Nicola Finetti let us down.

I liked her clutch though.

Anyone think Laurens face looked a bit ‘off’ this year? She is normally so pretty. Her arm looks nice and lean.

Who is this and what is going on here? I had a chuckle watching her on the massive Lazy Susan circa 1995 at Ling Wah Chinese Restaurant on Nepean Highway in Frankston. She tried so hard to have her ‘come hither’ face on, and then she nearly stacked it.

I heard her say that if the dress was good enough for Fashion Week in New York, it was good enough for her.

Sorry – it wasn’t good enough for Fashion Week in the first place.

It looks like it has those plastic rings that get stuck on seals from beer cans stuck to the bottom. She didn’t smile once either. A smile can make an outfit 10x better.

Her hairdresser obviously hates her.

A surprise entrant here.

I like Rebecca Judd, I think she is gorgeous.

I just feel like we have seen this before. Can’t Aurelio Costarella surprise us for once? When Rebecca said that it wasn’t mustard, it’s corn I just thought to my self ‘No, it’s dehydrated urine’. I’ve read around the traps today that people think she has had some work done to her face. Thoughts?

How does she look like that a few months after giving birth to Oscar. How, HOW I ASK YOU??!?!

I actually love the cap sleeves though. They are #winning. The shoes however, are #losing. They don’t go with the dress at all, there is already too much going on. Some nude open toe CL’s would have done the trick.

I think her hair looks stunning though. Me likey.

The mullet dress.

Party in the front, business in the back.

Don’t do this to me, I can’t handle it.

Nice shoes dude.

This could have been quite nice, if it was not so ill fitting on the bust. What is going on here?? I wore a sequin covered dress to my sisters wedding and had cut shoulders from it, imagine how heavy this bad boy must have been.

I think this could have worked, but it didn’t.

I like the colour though. Hair tied back in a sharp bun would have worked also.

Lauren Tscharky.

Is it just me or is this dress 2 different colours? A pearl bodice and a dusty pink skirt? It’s like they added the embellishment to try and disguise that, didn’t work though.

I never understand front slits. Sure, if I had her legs I would probably rock a front slit all day long, but I don’t – therefore I don’t understand them. Very bridal.

There is nothing wrong with this, it just does nothing for her.  

Alright. I am confused, once again. I feel like she belongs in a really sad and gloomy opera. Are they dirty white rosettes on the hips? Not feeling it.

A bodice like this deserves a figure hugging skirt also. She has a nice figure, so should have gone for it. I like her smile though.

Ahh Brynne. You never disappoint me, NEVER!!!

I love how many times she announced that she loved the designer so much that they just bought 50% of the company.

Clearly the designer does not love her, or she would make the bodice fit her breasts properly. How hard is it?!?!

Brynne has killer legs. She is/was a personal trainer isn’t she? She can come and train me and turn my pork chops into drumsticks. I like her, she cracks me up. I love her self confidence also.

I want to see close ups of the shoes, any brand suggestions?

This is better than what she wore the last 2 years, that is fo shizzle.

Tania Hird. I have nothing much to say, other than I don’t like this on her.

I have never watched The Amazing Race but they tell me Renae Wauhop was on it. I’ll tell you what’s amazing – how that dress did not pop open and reveal her lady lumps, that’s what!!

This was obviously a very “I’ve been on a reality TV show so there will 100% be photos of me and I am going to make sure that they don’t over look me” moment. She has a killer bod though. Cannot say that I blame her for wearing it.

I just don’t like gold lame lightening bolt dresses.

I’m sad that there were not too many shockers.

Also, what was the deal with them having to start in the drive way at Crown? Don’t people know how dirty the floor is??? Not very glamorous.

My major damage was done to my wedding dress when walking from reception at Crown Metropol to the limo, 1 meter away.

Thoughts? Are any of my “Average Dressed” on your “Best Dressed”?

I remember Geefa used to go to the Brownlow, thanks for the invite Geef.

How boring is the count.

Best Dressed still to come.